Right?

So as of late I been thinking a lot right, and I had an epiphany. I need to really start taking control of my life instead of just talking about it right? To say the very least, since I just about over-thought myself to death right, I'm scared out my mind. I have to do some serious growing up in the space of 1 - 2 yrs right and I'm going insane. All these little details right and I just can't stop coming up with new shit to ponder. Sometimes I wanna cry and just run away from everything right because to do that would make life so much easier. I don't like stress right or not having peace of mind. It drives me insane to constantly have something pressing on my mind right. Maybe that's why I keep going to bed so early these days, I tire myself out during the day with all this thinking....right?

Then I start wondering am I doing the right thing right? Or am I just thinking up some half-baked plan that in the long run I really will not be able to carry out right? Then I turn to God and ask him to be with me through the times ahead right and that makes me feel better for a while. People I talk to constantly tell me to not stress and don't go crazy over the things I can't control right? However I have little patience and I'm scared about my future which is coming full tilt at me, so even though I'm trying right, it's really difficult.

There have been things in the past right, that I've put my mind to and done. It's crazy because that I just got this firm determination in my head right and I made it happen. Maybe I can do this with my future too right? Maybe I'm so scared because I know a big change is coming to me right and it requires a lot of work on my part which is not so straightforward like it is in school. It's not like doing a paper, hoping I'll get a good grade, and then forgetting about it until I get it back right. Now what I do right, actually has an immediate tangible effect on my life and there's a real possibility that instead of getting a bad mark, things could really fall apart but that's the risk I'm taking...right? Can't stay in the same mode all my life right? I'm just so use to subtle changes right...I knew I'd have to do a big change for myself sooner or later...it's just that now that it's here...it scares me that it came so fast. It's taking some getting use to...you get me right?

I hope this wasn't too annoying, just trying to do a writing exercise and if I want to be a writer someday I need practice...right?lol I need to get started on writing my novel this summer and I'll be posting excerpts here, yay!

-Sha