"I need a man to define me!" & "But I love him!"

Okay not too long ago my favorite gossip blog, BOSSIP, posted an item about Kim Khardisian. Have a look:

Kim recently fueled rumors she is getting engaged to her boyfriend, American football player Reggie Bush, when she admitted she had been looking for an engagement ring with her friends. The couple only celebrated their two year anniversary in last month, but divorcee Kim is determined to marry the New Orleans Saints running back. She said: ‘He definitely knows all of us went ring shopping. I definitely scared… …him and told it was probably way more expensive than it is, just so that when he goes he feels like he’s getting a good deal. ‘He knows what it looks like. I think I’ve emailed him enough pictures.’
(bossip.com)

Seriously Kim? Come on now! Sadly she's not the worst I've heard. There are lots of women out there DYING to be married. Maybe Kim is desperate because she's kind of a 'why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free' type of a girl, but even so, desperation will NOT help. I repeat, DESPERATION WILL NOT HELP. If the man wanted to marry you, he would have proposed already...obviously, he ain't ready. No wonder movies like 'He's just not that into you' are so popular.

On the flipside, there are young girls and women who just cannot be by themselves. I know this one girl who used to my best friend (we cool but you know...people drift), she CANNOT be by herself for the life of her. If she was by herself, it was like she was deprived or some shit. Everytime I turned around she had somebody new (I think she's still with the last dude she told me about so maybe she's settled down...highly doubting it though). I mean damn...is a man THAT necessary to you people? I love men like the next heterosexual female but they're not my everything...trust me that ends badly. However, you can even find that shit on FACEBOOK. You know...them females that put 'married' as their status? Unless there's a ring, fuck outta here with that mess. STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! I have to say this because desperate females don't know they're coming off desperate. Of course there are degrees of desperation: low/medium/severe, but desperation in any measure is NOT sexy.

Switching gears! I was reading the June issue of Essence magazine and they had an article about Battered women. You'd be surprised at the shit that women miss when it comes to men. I'm not gonna judge because I've learned first hand that in some situations, you can't speak on it unless you've been in it. HOWEVER, there were some stories in Esssence from black women who were with abusers; the signs they spoke about would give any woman with an ounce of self-worth the urge to RUN. All I can say is, love makes you do dumb/irrational things. I've been around dudes who seemed to have no qualms about hitting women and distanced myself one time. Now, I know the Essence article was to bring awareness about the issue and to send the message that women should not suffer in silence; but I think all of this pain and heartache can be avoided if you PAY ATTENTION. A lot of females do not pay attention to the things dudes say or their actions. Sometimes, you don't ask the right questions. That is IMPORTANT.

For example, in the Essence article this woman talks about her ex-abusive husband who, prior to their marriage, was practically stalking her, and another woman who talked about how her abuser went to great lengths to track her down and she took it as a compliment. Granted most of these women were looking for someone to love them or were in love, and when you're in that position you'll give a dude too much leeway. Never a good idea because most dudes, you give them too much rope they hang themselves. Can you tell I've been there, done that?lol Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that some women overlook the flashing red signs because they either don't think they can do better or they're feeling the dude in question so much that he gets a pass. DO NOT GIVE ANY MAN A PASS! There are too many men in this world for you to be putting up with any low-life. I'm not saying give the dude a hard time, but at least be more critical of who you choose.

Common Signs: - controlling (i.e. "I don't want you wearing that outfit")

- tries to isolate you from friends and/or family (i.e. "I don't like that girl you hang around with it...she talk too much shit bout our relationship")

- slapping or hittingly you lightly (playfighting is one thing, but if he makes a habit out of hitting you or slapping you lightly for other shit...thats gonna get worse)

- sly putdowns (i.e. "You not gonna get anyone better than me, you know that")

....etc etc.

A lot of this sounds obvious but put yourself in a situation with a potentially abusive (whether that be physically/mentally/emotionally or all of the above) dude...you'd be surprised at how much you let slide. I know back in the day I let A LOT slide. It took some growing and training people on how to treat me to realize the shit I was letting slide. Take note though THESE THINGS START SMALL. So if your dude makes a seemingly harmless comment along the lines of the ones above, and you're offended? Don't think you're overreacting. Take him to task for it because you can never be too sure. He puts you down, saying 'its not that serious', he's not even hearing you = he does not care about your feelings. There are different levels/methods of abuse, it's not just physical. Thus, you don't like how your dude talks to you, put him in his place or keep it moving. END OF STORY. I know I know...its not that simple but you love you right? Don't forfeit your love of yourself for some dude <- learned that shit the hard way.

Why have I not mentioned the Chris Brown, Rihanna thing? Probably because I'm done with that issue. Rihanna's a fuckin' idiot. We all know she's just testifying because people are telling her she should. No respect for that girl. Chris "I'm not a monster" Brown...I already twittered (in the side column) bout how I feel bout that cocky lil fucker...he need to sit his high yellow ass in the corner. No remorse...you gets NO RESPECT EITHER. I get mad just hearing his songs on tv or if he's featured on a song on my iPod lol...which reminds me, I must delete those songs with him on it. I refuse to support that nigga in any shape or form.

To sum it all up, I had a friend in a physically abusive relationship. I watched her go through all kinds of abuse with that nigga. She left him because he tried to kill her (unintentionally according to his dumb ass). Sounds extreme but we are all human and you can easily be in a harmless situation which turns into a fight for your life. So what I'm trying say is...to all the desperate women, your mr. right (meaning someone right for YOU) will come along and if he does, don't pressure him because love doesn't work like that (refer to The Supremes 'You can't hurry love')...love you first, they will come :-) ; to the battered women, know your self-worth and BE CRITICAL of who you date. That's it folks. I ain't got nothin' more to say on this shit....well unless I feel like adding more *shrug*.

- Sha

**Next topics?: CNTM (Canada's Next Top Model), Shahrazad Ali and the Black Community (I need to do my research before I speak on this lol, for now watch the video below), Single Women VS. Married Woman (Tyra show episode)

**Music you should listen to: Wiz Khalifa "Ms rightfernow" <- Drake ain't got nothin' on him

**Video you must watch:

ANTM Post: Teyona Wins! Paulina Fired...Calls Tyra a Late Bitch

So another season of America's Next Top Model ends and I'm ecstatic because the winner I chose..WON! Teyona Anderson-> the picture above is her Covergirl shoot :). FINALLY a strong BLACK girl won! Yea that's right I said it! Okay lemme backtrack:

Anyone who knows me knows I am a complete ANTM addict. I'll have a million things to do but ANTM is not debatable, nor is it negotiable. I've been watching since Cycle 3 (no idea why Tyra calls the seasons, cycles) and my favorites: 3, 6, 8, and (this past one) 12. Favorite winners: Eva Marcille (even though she's doin' commercial shit with the Young and the Restless now). Dani Evans, Jaslene Gonzalez, McKey Sullivan, and...(of course) Teyona Anderson.

Back to the matter at hand, whenever there are black or spanish girls who are in the running, I root for them automatically. Can't help it...that's my blood *shrug*. Not racist, I just like supporting my peoples. However, to all of the people who thought the runner-up Allison should've won, you're idiots, all of you. That skinny white girl had NO personality, her walk was STILL wack, and she did not have the confidence a top model needs. I at least wanted Aminat to walk in the show with Teyona. THAT would've been a show. However, Aminat just did not know what to do in front of that damn camera. WTF?! FYI: There hasn't been 2 black girls in the top 2 since Cycle 3. So, when it was Allison and Teyona...yea Teyona's chances skyrocketed. Quite happy with the results :). The girl was an obvious good choice

Switching gears now, I came across a blurb on the gossip blog: bossip.com, about Paulina Porizkova (a judge on the show) who has come out and said she's been fired off the show. On top of that she has been quoted as saying:

“I must admit I was having a little bit of an issue with Tyra being late for every judging,” she told Billy. “It’s six hours later and I feel like I am being told my time is not as valuable as hers. They pointed out that I should shut up and be grateful for the job and that Tyra is really busy.”

“I think that my little hissy fits about ‘Well, we are all here on time. Why can’t she (Tyra)?’ didn’t go over all that well,” added Paulina, who replaced the previous judge, supermodel Twiggy. When asked if there might have been an issue that she was the only other woman on the judging panel, Paulina said she didn’t think that was the case, especially when it comes to Tyra. “I don’t think that in Tyra’s universe that’s even a consideration. I don’t think she cares,” she said. “I’m not even sure she was aware that I existed way out there in Siberia, much like I am not sure she knew Twiggy existed.”

And while Paulina and Tyra clearly didn’t get along in the professionallandscape, did the two have any off-camera conversations? “I wouldn’t know [what kind of person Tyra is] because all I know of her is literally when we are on set talking to each other in front of the cameras,” the supermodel said. “That is the only time she would speak to me.” As previously reported on AccessHollywood.com, Paulina first revealed the news of their squabble during an appearance on the “Late Late Show” with Craig Ferguson earlier this week. “Listen, do you know why I am in Los Angeles?… Because I am looking for a job,” Paulina told Craig. “I was fired by ‘America’s Next Top Model’ on my birthday.”

Seriously Paulina? SERIOUSLY? Translation: Tyra was a late ass bitch. So unnecessary. Okay so you were fired and you're mad. Fine I get that...but to go on television and let the whole world you're on a bullshit tip is never cute. Was it so hard for her to do the classy thing and keep it movin'? REGARDLESS of her feelings? Now I myself, love Tyra Banks...yet I don't know her personally. A lot of this sounds like exaggeration but some of it may be true. *shrug* Whatever that's not the issue. I'm not sad about this in the least though. I BEEN sayin' Paulina needs to get off the show. Sick of her mean ass. To be frank, she is a BITCH. She said some downright uncalled for things to the girls on the show. Go get some sex Paulina, instead of ventin' on some late night show about your unemployment blues. Somebody needs to defrost that old lady.

Something else I'd like to address, these haters on the bossip site sayin' that ANTM has run its course. People the show is second to American Idol in ratings alone. OBVIOUSLY it ain't going nowhere. So shut your asses up and find another show to watch. Really annoys me when people comment on something, waste their time, just to hate on something/somebody.

*exhales*

So that was my thoughts on ANTM. I do follow the Canadian version, Canada's Next Top Model. So if its any good, I'll blog about it :). It premieres May 26. Anywho thanks for reading! This blog was not to my liking because I'm not exactly the most alert right now (only got 7 hours in the last 2 days...hectic hectic week). HOWEVER, I shall leave you with some interesting gems. Enjoy!

- Sha

** New site to check out: www.thatblackgirlsite.com

**Music in my head: Letoya Luckett "Not Anymore"

**Music you should listen to: Musiq Soulchild "So Beautiful"

** Video you must watch:

Introduction

Hello World. Like the millions of people before me, I've decided to start my own blog because I'm tired of talking to myself...and my thoughts are more important than yours lol. I've been wanting to do this for some time now. However, I'm not going to be religious about this. Only when I have time and/or have something I really wanna talk about. Otherwise...to the one person who's reading this. Thanks for stopping by :). I'll make it worth your while in time. 

Sha